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/r/todayilearned

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all 2871 comments

CritikillNick

2.9k points

2 months ago

For some reason, about 5 years ago I started doing this to my wife while I was completely asleep. She’d be irritated with me later for “starting and then stopping” and I’d have to explain that I legit have no memory of doing that and was asleep the entire time

obsydianx

1k points

2 months ago

Bro, my ex-wife stopped sleeping in the same bed as me. I have no memories of ever doing anything to her, nor would I have done anything without her consent anyway. It was pretty painful to deal with.

legthief

894 points

2 months ago

legthief

894 points

2 months ago

It's okay, my ex-wife doesn't sleep in the same bed as me anymore either.

RedditOnceDiditTwice

549 points

2 months ago

Good thing. It would be weird if all three of us did.

GapingFartLocker

192 points

2 months ago

I've had this problem for years. I used to wake up having sex, but now my wife just makes sure I'm awake before letting it get that far, now I just wake up groping her and feel bad. It's usually worse if I've been drinking.

DontCareForKarma

105 points

2 months ago

My husband has been with me for 20 years. He has been doing this since the first time we shared a bed, and it makes me feel wanted.

Don't feel bad that you sense/smell your wife and it gets you going.

NearHi

30 points

2 months ago

NearHi

30 points

2 months ago

My wife didn't put up with the stopping. If I started and stopped, she'd come over and keep it going. I'd wake up/come to and be pleasantly surprised, but then have to ask if it was me again. 99% of the time it was.

Pmmeurareola

6.5k points

2 months ago

I had experienced this. Maybe happened 4-5x ever.. woke up in middle of sex. Worst part was my SO kept saying it was the best.. my awoke self apparently cant replicate it!

FawnJunior

2.4k points

2 months ago

FawnJunior

2.4k points

2 months ago

If it makes you feel any better, there’s a few comments like this. I’d be shattered lmao maybe it’s got something to do with lack of inhibitions? idk

SatisfactionShort453

349 points

2 months ago

that’s exactly what is it. my partner does this and when it happens it’s your subconscious driving your lust actions. so you’re doing what you would do if you didn’t think during sex or try. wether it’s fear or them not liking it or being cringy or whatever. it’s stuff you’d most likely do and they would enjoy. most of the time it’s bc the sleep sexer is a little extra rough and bold. don’t get your feeling hurt by it. but maybe take it as a truth that can help that bring more truth and openess into the bedroom. most people don’t talk enough about how to have sex with one another completely honestly. try asking what different and why it was better. it’s not that you’re doing anything wrong it’s just that we all have different sexual sides to each other.

Sofasoldier

973 points

2 months ago

I'm willing to bet that's the case. I do this consistently when sleeping with partners, and I always initiate with a level of voracity that I'm not capable of when conscious. Usually I'm very subby so my initiations are much less aggressive, and the partners that prefer the aggression have told me that my sleeping come-ons are much more of a turn on.

godwins_law_34

168 points

2 months ago

This could be it. From age 20 to roughly 37, my husband was afflicted. Once I understood what was happening, it was great. He was unreserved, passionate, primal with a hard on that could carve granite. He normally makes zero noises during sex but sleep sex was grunty. Sorta this but with no one awake initially. https://youtu.be/qszQl25VzvA

SonOfJokeExplainer

721 points

2 months ago

My (ex-)wife told me once that the best sex was when I’d wake her up in the middle of the night for sex. She said it was always the most passionate, aggressive sex. And I was just like, “What? When has that ever happened?” She was just as stunned that I had no recollection of it as I was. I think she was legit disappointed when my insomnia issues improved and the sexsomnia stopped.

BorgClown

306 points

2 months ago

BorgClown

306 points

2 months ago

You still got it in you bro! Let that inner stallion loose again!

p_i_z_z_a_

514 points

2 months ago

My wife has this, and looking through the comments, I think the difference is just that sexsomniacs are more aggressive in bed. Like, very heavy-handed, not Dom aggressive. With my wife, the making out is more uninhibited and she touches my body like she's desperate to really feel it? There's no self reflection, so she isn't even a little shy.

I really like it, but it freaks her out and embarrasses her to wake up having sex. She can't get over the feeling that she's just assaulted me, even though I've given her free use consent. So now I tell her that I'm not interested or don't engage at all and she'll just go "back" to sleep.

CyberRozatek

268 points

2 months ago

That's really kind of you. Despite her being the one to technically initiate, you know it is going to make her uncomfortable and anxious later so you turn her down.

In the moment that's got to be confusing. She is acting like she really wants sex, you sound like it's a senerio you would willingly reciprocate, and yet being the one who is aware and having the foresight to tell her to go back to sleep.

I'm glad for both of you, your communication skills and respect for one another. Some therapy might help with her feeling like she is violating you somehow, but it sounds like you both have a pretty good handle on it.

[deleted]

185 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

185 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

namotown

2.2k points

2 months ago

namotown

2.2k points

2 months ago

Ex in college had this. She’d initiate by backing into me and playfully moaning. After the second time I asked her about it, and she said she didn’t remember anything and woke up while we were having sex. I was a little freaked but she said she’d known about it since she was younger and would masturbate in her sleep.

She was fine with having sex when she was like that but it was too uncomfortable for me - Id just ignore her until she fell back asleep. Was funny too cause if I asked her if she was awake she would make noises in the affirmative but never speak actual words.

rinanlanmo

103 points

2 months ago

My ex wife did it very occasionally.

I discovered it the same way. Except she would talk. I woke up from a bad dream and after calming down decided to cuddle up to her to go back to sleep. Out of habit when I did I kissed the back of her neck and ran my fingers up and down her arm.

After a little bit she started the butt wiggle into me. Then she did it again more aggressively. That's the point where I thought she had woken up. This escalated slowly over the next twenty minutes or so until it was full blown foreplay and she turned to look at me with bedroom eyes and said "I want you inside of me now.*

So... I obliged.

She closed her eyes but was actively participating and making a lot of happy sounds. But like five to ten minutes in, her eyes popped open and we had a few seconds of eye contact before she locked her legs around my waist and dug into the back of my neck with her nails.

That was the moment she actually woke up.

We talked about it afterwards and was falling over myself to apologize and tell her I thought she was awake. She laughed and said if it ever happened again I better do exactly what I did. According to her it was the hottest thing ever. Having a sex dream and instead of waking up to frustration, finding the real thing.

I've been very cautious anytime I'm not 100% certain any future partners were awake tho.

boisterile

960 points

2 months ago

I do the same thing except I can speak full sentences and insist I'm awake. My girlfriends have said they usually have to keep the conversation going long enough for me to stop making sense before they can tell I'm actually asleep.

entropicdrift

1.2k points

2 months ago*

My wife is so good at sleep talking I have to ask her math questions.

"Hey, you wanna go get pretzels?"

"Sure baby, but what's 48 divided by 12?"

annoyed groan "Why are you being mean to me?"

"I'm sorry sweetie, I love you" hugs ensue

Edit: this is now my highest rated comment of all time. Wow. Time to tell my wife the internet knows how cute she is.

spokydoky420

392 points

2 months ago

Okay, so my husband mumbles complete nonsense in his sleep sometimes and I started saving a list of the dumb things he says. It's been a long while since he's done it, but this is what I have so far. These were all said on different nights over the last year or so.

Turn off that light. (All the lights were off.)

Not a wingman hold the phone.

Just gonna try and tell em it's toast.

Go on dump the body.

lots of mumbling 5:30 years ago.

Sprung it.

Niiice...

Try to find the bagel.

Squee the dig a box.

CatholicCajun

139 points

2 months ago

Go on dump the body.

Try to find the bagel.

😂

radicalblues

216 points

2 months ago

Fun ones! My wife once said out loud

THY SORCERY!!

And continued sleeping. I had to try really hard not to laugh loud.

addik47

441 points

2 months ago

addik47

441 points

2 months ago

Omg I love love love fuckin with my wife when she's sleep talking. She talks like she's at work alot along with getting pissed at her coworkers. It is ALWAYS funny even when she's mad. Like a few weeks ago she grabbed me by the wrist and said:

IM NOT FUCKIN AROUND. SHRIMP OR SHARK????

Uh shark, baby.

Shrinks oh, ok.

CaffeinatedGuy

102 points

2 months ago

The few times that I coherently talk in my sleep, it's almost always about work and I'm usually annoyed at someone. Funny how that works.

A_wild_so-and-so

22 points

2 months ago

Dreams are a great way to cope with stress.

Ogreblack

67 points

2 months ago

I hate to wonder what would have happened if you chose shrimp

scruggbug

20 points

2 months ago

I read this as you love fucking your wife while she sleep talks about being at work, I was like, “this has gotta be the weirdest kink I’ve seen all week.”

CaffeinatedGuy

36 points

2 months ago

Have her ask you something completely disassociated with reality, like "what's that purple thing coming this way?" or "what time do we need to get to the launchpad?" Things like that tend to be assimilated into a dream so they would respond as if those things were happening. An awake person would likely ask what the hell you were talking about.

Human-Credit

18 points

2 months ago

My partner also has had this happen. We talked about it after the first time and I would usually be able to tell that something was off. I'd start quizzing them until they'd wake up. "what year is it? When's our anniversary? Who's the president? What day is it?"

Niawka

10.3k points

2 months ago

Niawka

10.3k points

2 months ago

My partner has it. Soon after we moved in together, twice he woke me up at nights and initiated sex. The third time he woke me up I told him to go back to sleep, as I was too tired and he went back to sleep no problem. The next day I apologized for rejecting him and only then found out he didn't even remember it. During previous two times he would wake up whenwe were already having sex and he thought I initiated it while he was asleep. It doesn't happen as often nowadays, but it's always weird making out with him knowing that he's asleep. Even when I ask him if he's awake he answers me positively while being asleep apparently. He did sleepwalk a bit when he was a teenager, maybe it's connected somehow.

sonicqaz

2.1k points

2 months ago

sonicqaz

2.1k points

2 months ago

I dated a girl like this for awhile too. She warned me it would probably happen though. It still took awhile to get used to knowing she wouldn’t remember it most of the time. She also would have full conversations while asleep, like your partner.

And before anyone asks, yes, she told me we should have sex if this happened and I wanted to. She wasn’t ashamed of it and thought the condition was amusing.

Pligles

159 points

2 months ago

Pligles

159 points

2 months ago

Yeah my gf is somewhat of an insomniac so sometimes when she’s awake and I like sleep cuddle her I’ll be hard. In that case it’s more of like her giving me a bj or something, which I don’t always wake up for. It’s kinda surreal.

C4LLgirl

2.1k points

2 months ago

C4LLgirl

2.1k points

2 months ago

This comment has me questioning a few times in my life I kinda just woke up middle of the night having sex.

Edit: I also sleep walked when I was younger

Charles-Monroe

1.6k points

2 months ago

A few months ago I woke up to my wife playing with me. I was incredibly confused and almost angry. Not because of her, but when I 'woke up' I was still firmly in a dream state.

I was dreaming about the Ukraine / Russia conflict, and somehow in my head my wife was Russia invading me or something. For the first few minutes after waking up I was so confused. Later she told me I was actually the one getting handsy with her and I actually woke her up. So weird...

Luckily that's the only time something like that happened to me. The only other time I did something in my sleep was when I peed in the laundry basket. Like a normal person.

weezyfgravy

418 points

2 months ago

Oh my god this has so happened to me. My gf at the time was giving me a hand job while I was asleep, while I was somehow dreaming that I was a train. The motion felt like the pistons on the side of the train (like the old school ones) and I woke up and had a panic attack

qpv

111 points

2 months ago*

qpv

111 points

2 months ago*

Wow that's amazing. I've dreamt of many abstract scenarios but not being a large piece of sexually active transportation infrastructure.

Edit op on valentines day

MrMastodon

68 points

2 months ago

"Oh god I'm gonna arrive at the station on time with all the passengers."

9volts

192 points

2 months ago

9volts

192 points

2 months ago

I can't stop laughing at this

qpv

115 points

2 months ago

qpv

115 points

2 months ago

Choo choo MFer

Sensitive-Giraffe-27

1.2k points

2 months ago

"I was dreaming about the Ukraine / Russia conflict, and somehow in my head my wife was Russia invading me or something."

LOL

DervishSkater

320 points

2 months ago

Short thrusts, hasty pull out, and yet, no special sauce?

phasmaphobic

120 points

2 months ago

Everyone's watching but no one really wants to be involved.

johnjager77

42 points

2 months ago

You’re not gonna believe that his but I had the exact same thing happen. Wild to see this posted here lmao

The_Ry_Ry[S]

1.1k points

2 months ago

It’s fascinating reading stories like this. It would be so weird if I couldn’t tell if my wife were awake or asleep when she started making moves

Niawka

688 points

2 months ago

Niawka

688 points

2 months ago

It's really weird, because after those two times I'd always try to see if he's truly awake to be sure. But apparently he can have conversation while still asleep so I never know when he actually wakes up. He doesn't mind waking up to us having sex so it's not a big deal. And if I'm not in a mood I just tell him to go back to sleep and he doesn't remember anything in the morning :p

SuperFLEB

848 points

2 months ago

SuperFLEB

848 points

2 months ago

"Are you awake? Point at all the pictures that have a traffic light."

Darkcool123X

125 points

2 months ago

Lmao I want to see sleepwalkers try to do captchas

TwinsenAyzel

159 points

2 months ago

🚥👈

Bishops_Guest

140 points

2 months ago

Sounds better than two friends of mine. He will initiate sex in the middle of the night. Once she’s starting to get into it he half wakes up, is confused and rolls over to go back to sleep.

FreeRangeEngineer

48 points

2 months ago

How do you know about this? Did they randomly tell you or did you get to witness this first-hand?

Bishops_Guest

95 points

2 months ago

College room mates. She would complain about it in the morning.

SomeGuyCommentin

18 points

2 months ago

Ask him math questions.

I_deleted

174 points

2 months ago

I_deleted

174 points

2 months ago

I used to have to sleep wearing jeans and a belt if there was a platonic sleepover happening.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

158 points

2 months ago

I’d be terrified at sleepovers if there was a chance of me doing something like this

The_Sapient_Ape

16 points

2 months ago

My gf tells me I do this sometimes like ask to do stuff when I'm dead asleep and I don't remember it. She finds it funny and says if she she says no or didn't want to I'll go back to sleep. I've always worried I'll do it with someone random like my brother or something once I found out it happens with my gf occasionally when I'm exhausted and passed out. Luckily it has never happened so I think I only do it subconsciously or something when I know I'm with her. Or the homies I've sleep with have never told me...

CountBlah_Blah

22 points

2 months ago

The homies enjoyed the bro jobs too much to let you know.

Short-Paramedic-9740

193 points

2 months ago

If you have to do that I don't think you should sleep over.

I_deleted

66 points

2 months ago

Correct

JamCliche

244 points

2 months ago*

I didn't find out I had it until after I'd broken up with my ex and eventually spent the night with a friend, where we were still deciding if we wanted to take it further. She mentioned me initiating and then going to sleep, and I didn't remember a damn thing. I questioned my ex on it and learned I'd apparently woken her up for sex "all the time" in our relationship but I'd go back to sleep if she said no. So that was at least some relief.

Seeing some other stories here, I recognize that others' conditions are far more severe, but I have anxiety regarding new partners. I share an apartment with friends but I sleep on a whole separate floor from them.

Niawka

91 points

2 months ago

Niawka

91 points

2 months ago

My partner does the same. If I just decline and tell him to go to sleep, he usually just says "ok" and I hear him snoring 2 minutes later. If your ex confirmed that you respected her refusal, I think you shouldn't feel bad about it. I'd rather a partner with sexsomnia than a one who kicks in his sleep. Though you might warn potential partners before sleepovers just like people apologize in advance for their snoring.

JamCliche

71 points

2 months ago*

I understand what you're trying to say, but it wasn't a matter of respecting her consent at all. It wasn't my choice whether it happened or not. To even speak as though I could respect anything, actually highlights why I'm anxious about this.

Imagine I end up with a partner who is aware of my condition, but eventually in my sleep I force myself on them. 99 out of 100 times when told no I go back to regular sleep, but let's say one time I don't. Are they going to believe me when I say I wasn't in control, even though it never went that far before? Even if they do believe me, what if they are traumatized by it? How do I repair that trust? How can I let go of that guilt?

I travel for work - I spend 2/3 of the year in hotel rooms. I lock the doors with whatever interior security is provided, because even though I've never been caught sleepwalking, I don't want to wake up humiliated and in cuffs for something I did in my sleep.

It's been years since my last relationship and my roommates have said repeatedly that they don't think I sleepwalk. But I found out about my condition only after the fact, after it had apparently happened for years without my knowledge. It left me uncertain and anxious for a long time.

I do appreciate you offering your perspective as a partner of someone with this condition. I'm just not sure I can have the same kind of tolerance from my next partner.

OtherNameFullOfPorn

299 points

2 months ago

Happens with my wife and I, especially if we haven't engaged in sex during the walking hours much or we had sex like the last 6 days but not the 7th. She always asks if I'm awake and sometimes bites me to be sure. Apparently if I'm really tired, I'll start something, roll over and go back to sleep.

Niawka

184 points

2 months ago*

Niawka

184 points

2 months ago*

I always ask him if he's awake and he confirms, I ask again "Are you sure you're awake?"he says yes, and then I find out he was asleep. But good advice, I'll try to pinch him maybe next time :D

effa94

366 points

2 months ago

effa94

366 points

2 months ago

"Please select all the pictures with a traffic light to have sex"

KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ

68 points

2 months ago

tell her to ask you to solve a math problem. Not a complex one but something like 88 + 154. I remember reading somewhere that it engages a part of your brain that is normally active during waking hours

Gwenivyre756

142 points

2 months ago

Same here. My husband has had it for a long time, but its pretty mild compared to some other cases stated here. Normally he will initiate, but if I tell him no then he will fall back asleep. We have had conversations about it while awake and clarified what happened as well as cleared the air that we are both okay with it. He is a pretty rowdy guy so he is always dtf if I am.

Distinct-Bad-9991

116 points

2 months ago

Pretty convinced it’s called being possessed by a horny wizard, but whatever.

Eagle13559

58 points

2 months ago

Take your confusing medical jargon elsewhere, nerd.

ChampChains

98 points

2 months ago

I have it as well, my wife doesn’t really mind thankfully. I’ll usually wake up mid-sex and the first few times it happened I thought my wife had initiated it while I was asleep but she tells me that I initiated and she thought that I was awake. I sleepwalk as well apparently. She says I carry on conversations with her and sometimes walk around the house. She thinks I’m awake but when we talk about it later, I have zero recollection of ever being up. She says I’ll also sometimes laugh in my sleep, like hysterical laughter to the point that I’m crying. My mom and brother would also sleep walk and talk in their sleep.

logiclol

22 points

2 months ago

I do believe this is me. Every now and again my wife will tell me I was making moves the night before or I’ll wake up in the middle of foreplay with no recollection of how we got to that point. Honestly, kinda glad to know I’m not crazy and it’s a real thing. I always come to before we get into the full act, but it’s still so disorienting.

Poopdicks69

126 points

2 months ago

I have this and I have dreams where grabing and humping my wife helps accomplish some goal in the dream. It makes 0 sense but if I dry hump my wife the engine in this plane will work.

DefiantStomp

1.4k points

2 months ago

My ex gf. She would get all over me and then she'd suddenly take a bunch of panicked breaths and say "where am I?!" like she was so confused. Took us a couple of times to figure out it was the meds her doctor prescribed for her anxiety. From that point on I would just leave the bedroom, come back with a fresh glass of water and as soon a she took the first sip her eyes would flutter and her consciousness returned. She didn't take those very long. She started taking anti nausea meds, like for air/car sickness and that seemed to fix her anxiety without "sleep walking" as we politely called it.

FawnJunior

381 points

2 months ago

Are we just gonna gloss over that anti-nausea meds fixed her anxiety? dayumn, what kind of meds are those lmao

ShitFuck2000

285 points

2 months ago

Most likely hydroxyzine, same class as benadryl but typically prescribed for anxiety since it doesn’t cause dependence like many anxiety medications do.

blewpah

49 points

2 months ago

blewpah

49 points

2 months ago

I have used it for panic attacks and found it can be very helpful. Not perfect as it sort of just makes you drowsy without fully stopping the anxiety, but it does knock you down a peg.

They also kick in pretty quick (20 - 30 minutes) so when I had really bad panic attacks I would take them along with my "real" anxiety meds and they'd sort of ease me down until the lorazepam hit. Then it's just get a big cup of water ready for when you wake up and lay down for the night.

Klowned

95 points

2 months ago

Klowned

95 points

2 months ago

High probability this is the one.

I like the Atarax from time to time myself.

The coolest shit about Hydroxyzine(Atarax) to me is that not only is it an antihistamine, but it's processed in your liver and turns into Cetirizine(Zyrtec). Hydroxyzine also has a hell of a half-life, 14 or 16 hours. It's a fantastically developed drug. Every once in a while the pharmaceutical industry comes out with a real winner, good on label, good off label, and few side effects.

Beard_o_Bees

23 points

2 months ago

but it's processed in your liver and turns into Cetirizine(Zyrtec)

So what i'm hearing is that I can turn my body into a money-making pharmaceutical factory at night while I sleep??!

/s

9874561230

55 points

2 months ago

It’s been years for me but promethazine sorta checked both of those boxes for me.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

114 points

2 months ago

that would be so disorienting. from what I've been reading, there are many different causes/triggers. this could really cause some serious relationship issues

SpellDostoyevsky

6.9k points

2 months ago

Once dated a girl who had this from using Ambien, absolutely bonkers. Once minute you think you're just doing the frisky dingo at night and then she just starts muttering all this weird shit and you're like "Oh, Oh I'm not the Ice cream man, and I'm not going to go get my labrador for you to play fetch with."

The_Ry_Ry[S]

2.1k points

2 months ago

That’s wild. It sounds hilarious, but I’d be super concerned if I did this in my sleep. Especially if it was accompanied with sleepwalking!

NoPunsNoPeace

5.3k points

2 months ago

It's not hilarious just so you know. I've suffered from this for so many years and the article was absurdly correct about the shame associated.

In fact it was my girlfriend in College that made me aware of it by telling me she didn't like how aggressive I was the previous night. It lead to a talk and apparently I initiated sex with her in my sleep several times.

Flash forward to a year or so later when your roommates are throwing a party and you crash out in your room. Some drunk girl decides to hop in bed and you wake up with a sexual assault charge and your entire world being turned over. No one believes you and your called a rapist until this disorder official gets recognized.

A little further down the road to every single romantic or platonic encounter that might involve sleeping over and having to broach this topic over and over again. Even with friends or family sleeping over during holidays or gatherings.

Go even further to being a Father and having to explain to your 7 year old that if Poppa is walking around in the middle of the night and not responding to run and get Mom.

It's anything but hilarious. It's terrifying to watch videos of yourself being inhabited by some other energy and animating your body to do things; completely autonomous from yourself. Feeling like Dr. Jekyll everytime you go to sleep is a nightmare.

I understand OP that this knowledge might seem very novel but remember behind every sensational illness you read about online are real people who would give anything to not have to suffer from it

Ok-disaster2022

524 points

2 months ago

Dear God your description sounds absolutely terrifying. I never think of kids being involved in stuff like this but it would be horrifying to wake up and found out I've hurt anyone, but especially my children, and I don't even have children. New anxiety unlocked.

Onarm

503 points

2 months ago

Onarm

503 points

2 months ago

In a previous one of these, someone posted a story from someone who suffers this, who sleeps in a sleeping bag that gets sealed on the same bed as his wife.

Not just so he doesn't rape her in his sleep, but so he doesn't sleepwalk and rape his daughter.

I don't imagine this is a fun thing to have.

C4LLgirl

325 points

2 months ago

C4LLgirl

325 points

2 months ago

Jesus fucking Christ this got dark really quick

trekie4747

90 points

2 months ago

I went from "wow these stories are somewhat amusing" to "holy fucking shit this can be terrifying."

InfernalGout

29 points

2 months ago

Yeah seriously. I wonder if tethering you to your bed would be a thing? Or are some people cognizant enough to untie it? Maybe some sort of lock where the combination isn't revealed until morning? That description seems like a solution is badly needed...

DaanTheBuilder

14 points

2 months ago

So I do stuff in my sleep, sleepwalking, talking, sex, smoking (including rolling a cigarette). My alarm clock needs me too solve math problems. I had to increase the difficulty because I was doing them without recollection.

chaotic_blu

73 points

2 months ago

Literally what happened to me growing up. It’s been weird. We didn’t know about sexomnia in the 80s- or at least my family didn’t.

phrankygee

794 points

2 months ago

I found out this was how I lost my virginity. When I “finally” went all the way with my girlfriend, she informed me that was not the first time.

Fortunately, it was more of a “few isolated incidents” than a chronic ongoing affliction.

drinksbeerdaily

202 points

2 months ago

How didn't she bring it up after the first time you lost your virginity?

waltjrimmer

222 points

2 months ago

Uh... While I'm not that guy, my first thought was, "Why would they?"

I know that my first sexual partner and I, when we saw each other the next day after that first time, we didn't, you know, say, "How about that sex last night?" or something. We hung out, talked like normal, and tried to find someplace semi-private to make out the disgusting way young people first trying it out do.

Sure, as I've gotten older, I've learned to talk about these things after in private like, "Did you enjoy [blank]? What do you want to try differently some time? Should I do [blank] differently or more," things like that, so the fact we had sex may come up in conversation at some point. But, again, I think most people have sex without discussing it the next day.

Rohndogg1

78 points

2 months ago

That would have made me feel so shitty that I wasn't even really there my first time with someone.

RiskyBiscuits150

124 points

2 months ago

I'm so glad someone said this. I've had a partner who suffered from this sporadically. I'm a woman, and he was a lot larger than me. Thankfully I was always able to fight hard enough that he woke up, but I've worried about what would happen if he hadn't. He wasn't himself during these episodes and it could be really quite scary.

ArchSchnitz

883 points

2 months ago

Not nearly as aggressive, but I've woken up having sex a few times. Always me initiating, thankfully always with a willing partner. I don't let people I don't know well sleep near me, because I don't know how this damn thing works or what causes it.

blueeyebling

35 points

2 months ago

I always assumed it was just a me thing and shamed myself to no end.

evilgingivitis

143 points

2 months ago

For me it was drugs and alcohol that caused it. Stopped partying all the time and it stopped happening. Im just glad my wife, who was my gf at the time, found it hilarious and was a willing participant lol.

chodeboi

625 points

2 months ago*

chodeboi

625 points

2 months ago*

Thanks for sharing this perspective and opening this conversation.

My uncle has terrible sleep waking disorders. He’s even retrieved his keys from the lockbox and driven himself to the mechanics to deliver jalepeno covered ice cream before waking up.

It scares people. It leads to accidents and bad stories. The laughable scenarios are what are used to cope and explain to others in a way they’ll engage with. But it is in no way a funny thing.

Power to you and yours.

Edit: Since inquiring minds must know, when a half eaten gallon of vanilla Blue Bell and a half eaten jar of pickled jalapeños love each other very much…it’s not as glamorous as it sounds. But I bet in another context it could be.

Strickens

196 points

2 months ago

Strickens

196 points

2 months ago

Jalapeno covered ice cream...

Sangmund_Froid

96 points

2 months ago

This was my takeaway.

WhapXI

28 points

2 months ago

WhapXI

28 points

2 months ago

Where did you order it?

Sangmund_Froid

28 points

2 months ago

Best made at home, apparently.

I kindof want to try it now.

Rich-Juice2517

24 points

2 months ago

Hey come back and tell us about this ice cream

LogicWavelength

59 points

2 months ago

Apparently I have done this once, but only once. However, my 10 year old son is exhibiting really weird shit when he sleep walks and my wife and I are very, very fearful of what happens when puberty hits. He also suffers from night terrors, so our hope is that all of this stops in his teens. Or now. Now would be better.

evilplantosaveworld

58 points

2 months ago

I was woken up by a partner once who elbowed me an saying sternly that no meant no. Apparently I had started groping her during the night at least three times. Words cannot express how mortified it made me. It's the only non-consensual thing that I've been made aware of, but it scares me to the point where on trips with friends I've even opted to sleeping on the floor vs sharing a bed, even if I wake up regretting it.
Honestly until this thread my worst fear was grabbing someone, now I'm even more terrified. I have no idea if it was a one off thing, or if it's happened more and I haven't been aware of it because it was consensual. Next time I'm in a relationship I might have to have a more serious conversation with my partner beyond "I can get handsy in my sleep so elbow me if I do."

TaliesinMerlin

161 points

2 months ago

Thank you for sharing. I first learned about this 12 years ago from a panel of experts talking about how sleep practices have developed over time. Sexsomnia in particular was something people laughed at when mentioned at first, but the ensuing discussion emphasized how many relationships were wrecked by it, how people on the outside misunderstand it, and how much shame and fear people with it can experience. Even sleeping in the same room as your own child (something many of us don't give a second thought when traveling) can be a scary prospect.

chaotic_blu

173 points

2 months ago

My dad did not know he had it.

I spent my entire life being mad at him.

Then I had it as an adult- my fiancé told me.

It’s been a weird thing to try to figure out and forgive.

majinspy

103 points

2 months ago

majinspy

103 points

2 months ago

Holy shit. Therapy - all of the therapy. Things that fuck with free will are terrifying.

chaotic_blu

62 points

2 months ago

Yeah haha I’ve been in therapy since 2011 but I didn’t even know about it until this year! I hadn’t had like a long term person living with me

CL-MotoTech

77 points

2 months ago*

Sleep walking is common in my family. My mom once nearly burnt the house down “cooking eggs.” She puts the knobs for the stove outside every night. She even drove to work a few times and they’d explain she’s shown up for the wrong shift and she’d wake up. My aunt pulled a gun on my uncle and if he hadn’t thrown her off she would have blown his brains out. She broke her arm falling off the bed. And I one time woke up to somebody trying to get me out of their mini van. How I found an unlocked mini van is beyond me. I explained I sleep walk and have no idea where I am. They were less than understanding. I was more than an hour walk from my home. Once I fixed an unbroken toilet only to wake up to my wife asking me what I was doing.

Sleeping walking and I suppose sleep sex, sleep cooking, sleep murder is a very real thing. We just have no appreciation for it medically or criminally.

AKJangly

26 points

2 months ago

I thought sleeping with T1 diabetes was hard. Damn.

Kale

55 points

2 months ago

Kale

55 points

2 months ago

Sleeping with T1D can be fatal in the wrong circumstances. I had a family member die this way. She didn't have a pump, lived alone, and got food poisoning. Blood sugar cratered during the night after a day of vomiting, no one was there to check on her. Passed in her sleep.

crazyrich

84 points

2 months ago

Oh shit man I was having a laugh at this initially as a dude but your perspective makes it fucking terrifying.

Thanks for the education. As a dad, I can’t imagine having to worry about that.

Shit. Good on you dude keep fighting the good fight, and thank you for educating us in a thread that treats this as mostly funny and making yourself vulnerable in explaining. That takes some real courage, even among internet strangers.

Responsible-Home-729

50 points

2 months ago

Wow. Nothing to joke about. Incredible to imagine this is a thing. Sorry to hear about your experience. Hope there is some effective treatment on the horizon.

clocks_and_clouds

40 points

2 months ago

That sounds awful, sorry you've been forced to suffer with this.

SpellDostoyevsky

173 points

2 months ago

Yeah, I'm putting a funny spin on it. Actually it was terrifying, she night drove, she sometimes woke up in strange places, her memory was spotty, I worried about her all the time. Ultimately I realized her doctor was way out of line prescribing it to her for so long without active therapy, she got off of it eventually and she's in a much better way now.

do0b

22 points

2 months ago

do0b

22 points

2 months ago

The ambien walrus is not to be trifled with. Having entire conversations on the phone with people and not remembering anything about them is scary. That or the cook fest in the middle of the night or even the weird Amazon orders.

I’m sure there’s a subreddit for stories about that.

ViolentTakeByForce

1.9k points

2 months ago

I actually have this. My girl tells me that I start playing with her, she gets in the mood and next thing you know I’m snoring. I legit do not remember any of it.

SC487

264 points

2 months ago

SC487

264 points

2 months ago

I have, one more than one occasion woke up to the sounds of my wife moaning with pleasure only to realize I’m the one pleasuring her. Usually it’s an immediate turn on and it turns into a middle of the night quickie.

S1umL0rdAkr0n

546 points

2 months ago

Oh man that would be the worst for her! "Oh yeah! All the foreplay! I'm so ready for you! I want you! I NEED you"

zzzzzzzzzzzz (snoring)

Frustrated pouting while sitting up in bed cussing you under her breath lol

starry_cobra

782 points

2 months ago

Things start getting hot and heavy and he hits you with the "honk shooo" and "mimimimimi"

errtangbgood

140 points

2 months ago

Saying that out loud has me rolling thank you for this

-hx

42 points

2 months ago

-hx

42 points

2 months ago

Oh my god 😂

waltjrimmer

33 points

2 months ago

he hits you with the "honk shooo" and "mimimimimi"

I didn't realize /u/ViolentTakeByForce was one of the Three Stooges, but that puts a whole new spin on things.

DWright_5

99 points

2 months ago

Once long ago I woke up during sex with my wife. My first conscious thought was “why is this taking so long.” Only later did I realize it was because we’d already had sex before falling asleep.

Not_Freduardo

277 points

2 months ago

I actually have sexsomnia and it's really shitty, because it's so unpredictable. It almost never happens, but it could always happen.

Whenever I'm in a new relationship I always need to have this super awkward conversation with the girl I'm dating, and though most are understanding and wake me up/let me sleep in the couch, it's always so fucked and I always feel like a scumbag.

Not to mention that I can never be 100% comfortable when sharing a room with friends.

[deleted]

735 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

LiesInRuins

86 points

2 months ago

So what were the conclusions of your project? I have this disorder and want to know what triggers it. I used to sleep eat, usually citrus when I was younger. I guess it grew into this. The first time it happened I was camping with some friends on a beach and I woke up with my face in a girl’s ass and she said “don’t stop”. I did stop. I had no idea what was happening. She was upset and I was scared. It happened with a couple of girlfriends after that. Now it happens about three times a year and my wife will sometimes wake me up, other times she just lets it play out. I just want to know what triggers it.

Sleepdprived

1.3k points

2 months ago

My ex was like this, she would just dream about sex with me and initiate. She said she consented and she didn't mind as long as I didn't get her pregnant. It was weird waking up to her groping me or shoving her tongue down my throat, but weirder when we both woke up mid coitus without a clue how we had started.

loneranger07

338 points

2 months ago

Username checks out!

The_Ry_Ry[S]

225 points

2 months ago

Yeah that sounds super weird. At least you guys seem to deal with that just fine!

lucidrage

152 points

2 months ago

lucidrage

152 points

2 months ago

Not when she became an ex

Sleepdprived

139 points

2 months ago

We both have children with other people now, all my wife does asleep is snore, but she does that like a professional.

StepOnMeCIA

977 points

2 months ago

Ugh, this shit is so embarrassing. I don't think I have this to a major degree, but I have walked around and my sleep and I had my ex tell me I kept begging her to "fuck me in the ass". She could tell something was up and thought it was funny, but I just felt so embarrassed. I fall asleep on couches and stuff a lot and take naps around the house and I am always paranoid I am going to say something absolutely heinous that I don't mean and someone is going to hear me.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

223 points

2 months ago

Sounds awful to have to worry about. I’ve got young kids in the house, and I would hate to deal with something like this!

FawnJunior

133 points

2 months ago

As someone with a history of sleep talking, and now increasingly weird and sexual dreams, this is one of my biggest fears

RanCestor

63 points

2 months ago

I have reportedly asked "What is your name?" from my lady friend at the time during my sleep.

Luis0224

95 points

2 months ago

"Identify yourself"

SausageWagon

76 points

2 months ago

I have it aswell, some periods are worse than others, but it's mortifying. I grab things and talk real greasy and perverted. The fear of doing it to somebody other than my wife is terrible - so I just dont sleep out or near other people ever. Even when its my wife and she tells me about it, it's so embarrasing.

TrixicAcePolyamEnby

66 points

2 months ago

When I met my now-ex-girlfriend, she let me know that she was in the process of divorcing her husband because he was in jail pending trial for sexually assaulting her daughter over a period of several years. His defense was that he was a sleepwalker and had sexsomnia. My girlfriend never experienced any sexsomnia from him, even though they shared a bed together.

He got 40 years in state prison. He was mid 40s when the sentence was handed down.

BrontosaurusXL

153 points

2 months ago

Ambien has entered the chat. Used to be on it, it makes you mad horny and barely could remember wtf happened in the morning.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

110 points

2 months ago

I took ambien one time and went on a super bad trip. My roommate found me talking to the walls in the kitchen, and I was convinced there were talking animals inside them. He eventually got me to bed, but then I felt paralyzed and kept seeing disembodied blue hands that would turn into spiders and get ever closer to me. Felt like an eternity

I never took ambien again haha

PM_ur_Rump

1k points

2 months ago

I suffer from a very sexy sleep disorder. What do I call it, Kif?

GrandPriapus

801 points

2 months ago

sigh Sexlexia.

tsoro

172 points

2 months ago

tsoro

172 points

2 months ago

Came here for this lol

DenimChiknStirFryday

194 points

2 months ago

Kif, show them the medal I won.

TW_JD

168 points

2 months ago

TW_JD

168 points

2 months ago

sigh ☝️😒

Daetra

24 points

2 months ago

Daetra

24 points

2 months ago

So, crawling back to the Big Z like a bird on its belly. Delicious.

Bloody_Smashing

74 points

2 months ago

I always up vote relevant Zapp Brannigan quotes in the wild.

ProjectSunlight

108 points

2 months ago

That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing.

Juanskii

24 points

2 months ago

Welcome to my bedroom, or as I like to call it, my sexnasium.

tammage

139 points

2 months ago

tammage

139 points

2 months ago

My husband has this. We had no idea what it was called till a couple years ago. He started sleeping with a cpap machine and it’s slowed down a lot. I would wake up from the craziest dreams because we’d both be sleeping when he’d touch me. Now I usually wake up with him clutching a boob like he thinks they’re going to run away from him. I call them his security blankets lol.

chinchillathrilla69

2k points

2 months ago

Ahhhhh… yes. Sleep Fapnea. I’m very familiar.

amboandy

369 points

2 months ago

amboandy

369 points

2 months ago

I had an uncle like this, we weren't allowed to go visit him again

The_Ry_Ry[S]

169 points

2 months ago

That’s terrifying

legthief

176 points

2 months ago

legthief

176 points

2 months ago

For the uncle too, poor guy.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

110 points

2 months ago

Yeah that’s sad for him to have to worry about that and miss out family time as a result

robert750

31 points

2 months ago

As a person with this. THIS is why no one but serial partners are allowed to sleep in my bed. Children, nope. Sister, nope. Even my ex wife used to get upset with me when I would tell her that I didn't remember having sex the night before. It was actually her that stumbled upon the clinical name and found out it was a thing.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

363 points

2 months ago

“Sexsomnia can occur alongside other parasomnias, including sleepwalking and sleep talking. It appears to be more common in men than in women, possibly up to three times more common. Masturbation is the most common behavior in women with sexsomnia.

In addition to the sexual behaviors, signs that someone is acting under the influence of a sexual parasomnia include:

-Unresponsiveness or minimal responsiveness to conversation or the environment -Unusual sexual responses or aggression Inability to be woken, or difficulty being woken -No memory of their sexual behaviors once awake”

~excerpt from the article

XanLV

203 points

2 months ago

XanLV

203 points

2 months ago

Something not mentioned here... You still keep dreaming. Imagine the situation when you dream about sitting in the city and the alarm clock sounds. So in the dream a train appears in the middle of the city.

This exact shit, only you're having sex while you're asleep and dreaming. Once I was dreaming I was in some embassy or something and I noticed a woman who was a spy. I was given the command to stall her, so I decided to charm her (should have been the first indication that I'm dreaming.) I am charming her, all is going good, all is fine, when I wake up mid-sex. "Ah ok so that's why." Russian spy, sure, but then there are aliens, robots...

My girlfriend said that I'm always quite aggressive when it happens in the night. A completely different person (which she apparently did not mind and actually found interesting). But the second she says "no" and turns me away, I instantly turn around like I was deeply insulted for some reason. With the whole body language of "We are no more on speaking terms".

I think it's the funniest shit, cause I am not someone to pout or something, so when I imagine me doing this I just laugh.

Kawaii_PotatoUwU

92 points

2 months ago

I'm sorry, I just find it so funny that a sleeping "person" that doesn't really exist understands language and gets offended. Sexsomnia seems like a horny version of split personality disorder. They're like "Quick he's sleeping, take control!"

XanLV

34 points

2 months ago

XanLV

34 points

2 months ago

Oh you also just get your hand picked up from where-ever it might have wandered to and placed on your stomach. That's when you huff and puff and stomp to your side of the bed and slam the blanket behind you.

Also, I think it is less a split personality disorder, but more that you do not really consider the other person at that moment. It's not about you both at the moment, it's just that you want it there and then.

ProjectDirectory

284 points

2 months ago*

I informed my wife (and previous partners) of my sex somnia (no official diagnosis) before we started sleeping in the same bed together. I've experienced sex somnia since at least puberty.

I also sleep walk/sleep talk on occasion. My wife has a list of the funniest things I've said while asleep.

My favorite is "Alright, I found Carmen SanDiego, now where is that bastard Waldo?"

My wife's favorite is "I can sell you a car, or I can have sex with you. Either way you're getting fucked."

nofocusing

41 points

2 months ago

Once, while asleep I jumped up and out of bed, waking up and scaring the hell out of my ex, and started looking around. She angrily asked me where I was going and I looked at her and immediately started singing, "We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz", over and over again while skipping through our apartment. She's still one of my best friends, and we still laugh about it to this day.

S1umL0rdAkr0n

423 points

2 months ago

My 1st wife liked it. It was triggered whenever I had dairy (I'm allergic). Once I stopped drinking milk, well apparently, I'm a better lover when I was asleep than when I was awake. 😵

mjkjg2

418 points

2 months ago

mjkjg2

418 points

2 months ago

on her birthday you chug the gallon and let it take over for the night?

Kale

29 points

2 months ago

Kale

29 points

2 months ago

Surely there's an optimal amount of dairy. Too much and you'll be letting loose rancid farts which kind of kills the mood. And small animals in the same room.

I have celiac disease. If I get a crumb of bread or pasta, I get very violent farts. It's embarrassing at work, because they echo.

karlkloppenborg

81 points

2 months ago

Hahahaha hilarious - I don’t know why but this made me proper laugh. Kinda of makes me think of the Rick and Morty sleep episode!

7eggert

114 points

2 months ago

7eggert

114 points

2 months ago

So your wife prefers to do it with the milk man?

BritishBatman

26 points

2 months ago

My ex said the same, apparently I initiate better in my sleep than when awake 😂

GeekerPunk

242 points

2 months ago

I have this.

While it’s hard to find a doctor that actually wants to try to do something about it or even believe me, I do that this disorder but learned to live with it.

Most of the time, I don’t remember and my SO learned to deal with it by just asking if I remember last night.

Sometimes I wake in the middle of it all balls deep. Which I then realize what’s going on and I turn to fall asleep as my partner realizes what’s going on.

Best way to deal with it is to talk about it openly. Mine gets triggered from stress I guess. Never had a doctor who actually wanted to talk or do anything about it, so you learn to live with it.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

59 points

2 months ago

That's awful that you haven't found a doctor to help out. I heard that counseling combined with a few lifestyle modifications can sometimes bring relief/improvement. I hope you can find some care!

wildBaralloco

232 points

2 months ago

I have this. It always happened with my girlfriend and she was ok with me jumping on top of her in the middle of the night for some unexpected intercourse, but still looks too close to rape and I feel so bad about it.

Once I woke up to me standing in the bed with the hardest boner I can recall and jerking off like a bonobo. That was weird, too.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

41 points

2 months ago

Oh man sorry you've had to deal with it. It would freak me out if I did stuff like that, especially on trips with friends or in houses with kids

mdifly1958

161 points

2 months ago

Actually I've done that. Wife said I was wild, throwing her around and just doing what I wanted. She loved it! I just wish I'd of been there.

avalonian422

25 points

2 months ago

Had a buddy fall asleep on a guard shift. He started jerking off in his sleep on the floor. I woke him up and told him he was doing it and he didn't believe me. Come to think of it he kind of stopped being my friend after that.

millymooboo

24 points

2 months ago

Reading through all these comments has made me reliaze I'm not alone in this :( I was scared to talk about it for years, it's one of the many horrible things I experience with my parasomnia sleep condition I've had since I was a toddler and it's terrifying trying to bring it up to potential partners. Probably why I'm still single :(

Tradman86

171 points

2 months ago

Tradman86

171 points

2 months ago

Show of hands, who found out about this from House?

The_Ry_Ry[S]

77 points

2 months ago

I watched House religiously back in the day, but I don't remember the episode! That was such a good show. I was thinking about it the other day because I have been recovering from surgery and popping vicodin

Tradman86

100 points

2 months ago

Tradman86

100 points

2 months ago

It was one of the amusing sidecases from seasons 2 or 3. Maybe 4.

Woman came in, House told her she was pregnant. She says she hasn't had sex. There's a back and forth over several scenes and he eventually diagnoses her with sexsomnia with her ex husband.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

44 points

2 months ago

Found it! Season 1 episode 17

Mr_A_Jackass

63 points

2 months ago

I won’t sleep with anyone because I do this. I grope and and try to initiate sex in my sleep and my wife don’t believe me the next morning when I’m like “What?? I didn’t do that”

Penguinkrug84

38 points

2 months ago

My husband does this sometimes. He talks in his sleep a lot and every now and again he starts feeling me up. It’s never lasted long enough to become full on sex but he never remembers it the next morning. I didn’t realize this was so prevalent! Crazy! TIL

Mr_A_Jackass

43 points

2 months ago

I will carry a full conversation with you while I’m sleeping and have no recollection of it and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know brutally honestly.

My sister figured this out when I was younger (teens) and she would come in my room and ask me for money and where it was at. I would tell her and she would take it. I’d wake up hours later and wonder why I had missing money.

I told my wife this, and told her if she ever does that to me we will have major issues.

Penguinkrug84

19 points

2 months ago

Wow that’s wild! Your sister is a butt head, but what else should I expect from a teen…lol hope you show this to your wife and she believes you from here on out when you say you don’t recall…

PuffinChaos

63 points

2 months ago

Had this happen to me once with a woman I was seeing. Woke up in the middle of the night with her rubbing herself up against me while moaning. She was dripping wet and trying to maneuver myself into her. We had a great sex session and she had an extremely intense orgasm and then was immediately in a deep sleep. Had no idea what happened until the next morning.

Me: “Wow that was a wonderful surprise last night!” Her: “Huh?” Me: “…..random middle of the night sex” Her: “Ohhh yeah I should’ve warned you about that”

MericanNativeSon

229 points

2 months ago

Senior year I find a girl on tinder, we hang out and hit it off. I could tell she was anxious like me. She invited me over and we kind of encourage each other to over drink as we’re both nervous and this is the first time I am having sex at college. I had had sex one other time in high school. I brought condoms, I put one on and we do the deed. I barley last a 1 minute, but it was great and I’m on cloud nine. She asks me to sleep over. In the middle of the night I wake up groggy and don’t realize what’s going on and am out of it. I finally come to and realize I am having sex with this girl again but it’s too late and I finish inside her. Of course sleeping sexsomnia me didn’t wear a condom. I dropped off plan b the next day. She said she was never able to swallow pills. I begged her to figure out a way. Idk and it doesn’t really matter if she did or not. But she got pregnant. We decided to get an abortion but the whole experience was traumatizing for the both of us. Her religious family got involved. My family was disappointed in me. I don’t talk to her for 6 year. I reach out and we plan a night to call each other. We both cried for an hour on the phone together. Neither of us had someone to talk about the situation with after all these years. We never told our closest friends or partners. But we felt comfortable talking to each other about it as we both went through it and we wouldn’t judge each other. It was nice. But I felt extremely sad and guilty learning how she’s still affected by it. The experience is still haunting us in different ways to this day. I need to see a therapist.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

63 points

2 months ago

I’m sad this happened and affected you both so much. Hopefully you can work through this with some therapy. That’s a really tough experience

TheSkinnyIndian

112 points

2 months ago

This is how my wife and I had our second pregnancy. It’s scary when both do this.

The_Ry_Ry[S]

63 points

2 months ago

Woah now that’s the most accidental pregnancy I’ve ever heard of. Are you ever gonna tell your kid how they were conceived?

pazuzu_86

18 points

2 months ago

Friend of mine ive had fun consensual sex with in the past has this, we were sleeping in the same bed cuddling and we fell asleep i was woken up to some great sex and after we finished i got up to pee and thats what woke her up and she started sobbing and I was like wtf just happened whats wrong and she explained and i felt so shitty. She told me it started happening a few years prior and a whole lot of stuff came out about it. There was a lot of consoling on both sides, we did end up having sex in the morning on purpose and are still great friends. I don't sleep at her place anymore and there is a locked door between us if we do sleep in the same place now.

Zren8989

51 points

2 months ago

I have this. It can be a REAL problem. I have woken up mid bang...I have also woken up to the sound of my ex begging me to not put it in her butt...that was not fun. I was horrified :(

SoldMySoulForHairDye

66 points

2 months ago

My husband and I both do this.

It's less than 1/50th as hot as you probably think.

WhyAreYouUpsideDown

15 points

2 months ago

Concur. Not hot.

peachyfuzzle

14 points

2 months ago

I used to have it, no idea what happened to stop it though. I couldn't have anyone sleep in the same bed with me without giving them the "I might start trying to have sex with you while we're sleeping. I'm not trying to be creepy, it's honestly a condition, and I will not remember anything that happens. If you shake me hard though, I'll wake right up and stop..." knowing that I sounded like a complete rapist which was horribly embarrassing for me to say and likely terrifying for anyone to accept. I actually slept on the couch so many nights when first starting relationships through my late teens and twenties until any SOs became willing partners who were cool with just randomly being woke up to having sex... which thankfully there are more people who are cool with that once they're comfortable in a relationship than anyone would ever imagine to the point of it being a prelevant kink, btw.

Thankfully though, I didn't have a real girlfriend until I was like 17 at the dawn of the internet. Is never slept next to anyone else before then. It just happened one night, and I only know because the next morning she was like "what happened last night? We had sex, but it didn't seem like you were actually there..." I just had to say that I didn't know. I was super confused though thinking she was the one who had a vivid dream or something while also being utterly horrified at myself. I was able to research it online that morning which at least let me explain it for 15 years after.

The weirdest thing though is I was always told that it was some of the best sex people ever had, but I would also just completely stop dead, lay down, and go back to sleep out of nowhere like nothing had happened.

I am so freaking glad it hasn't happened in almost ten years though. There are stories of people doing very complicated things while being asleep, even driving and not remembering it in the morning. I completely believe all of that is possible with the stores I've been told about myself.

damiensol

65 points

2 months ago

I was in bed with a girl I was dating when she suddenly started blowing me. I was confused but allowed it. She woke up halfway into it and asked what was going on. I told her that she was blowing me in her sleep. To which she replied, "Oh, well, I guess I'd better finish the job." And she did. Only time that's ever happened.